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Humour is a great feature of Ireland and the Irish people. We enjoy a good laugh or as we say "we enjoy the craic". Here a few Irish jokes or funny stories. If you have any and they are clean then why not send them to us and we'll add them here.
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Written by John
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Tuesday, 29 September 2009 13:34 |
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A cop arrested a Paddy for smoking on a Dublin bus. "Can't you read that sign? that says No Smoking" said the cop "No"said Paddy who had supped one too many! "I can't read" "What's your name?" demanded the cop, but all he got was a mumbled reply. "Write it down"said the cop handing him a notepad. Drunken Paddy scribbled something illegible. "What's that?"said the cop. "I don't know"said Paddy "I told you I can't read. |
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Written by John
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Thursday, 24 September 2009 14:21 |
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Heres another one sent from Cacksy; Paddy Reilly was walking up the High Street with a monkey on a lead when a policeman stopped him.
"Where are you going with that beast?"asked the cop.
"I'm taking him to the zoo"replied Paddy,which satisfied the cop.
Next day the same cop stopped Paddy who had the same monkey on a lead in the High St.
"I thought you were taking that thing to the zoo"said the cop.
Aye i did, and we had a great time, so i thought today we'll go to the pictures. |
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Written by John
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Friday, 31 July 2009 08:32 |
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Here is one from Cacksy.. Gallagher met Murphy one Monday morning and noticed Murphy had a black eye.
"What happened to you"said Gallagher.
"You'll never believe it, I was at mass yesterday and was sat behind a plump lady, when we rose to sing I noticed her dress was caught up in the cheeks of her behind, I reached over and pulled it out and she turned around and thumped me" Murphy replied. The following Monday the two men met again this time Murphy's other eye was black as well.
"What have you been up to now?" asked Gallagher. Murphy replied.
"You'll not believe it, I was at mass yesterday,sat behind the same plump lady,we rose to sing, I noticed her dress again caught up between her cheeks, my little nephew was with me and he reached over and pulled the dress out, I knew she wouldn't like that so I reached over and pushed it in again and she turned around and thumped me for nothing" |
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Written by Cacksy
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Tuesday, 25 August 2009 08:28 |
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Heres a great one I got from Cacksy DEAR SON, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slow cause i know you can't read fast. You won't know the house when you get home because we have moved.
About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has 500men under him;he cuts the grass at the cemetary. There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in but it hasn't been working too good. Last week i put dad's shirt in,pulled the chain and haven't seen it since.
Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but i haven't found out if it is a boy or a girl yet, so i don't know if you are an auntie or an uncle.
Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took five days to put out the fire.
I went to the doctor last Thursday and your father came with me.The doctor put a small glass tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him. It only rained twice last week, once for three days and then for four. We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandfather's plot isn't paid within seven days, up he comes.
-Your loving mother.
PS;I was going to send you $10 but i had already sealed the envelope. |
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Written by John
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Tuesday, 23 June 2009 09:34 |
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Thought you might like this sent in from Claws. I found this in an old newspaper, The Sligo Independence, 1950. It was a dramatic moment in a play at a Dublin theatre. The hard-hearted father was turning out his erring daughter. "Go!" he said, thrusting the door open. "Go - and never darken my door again!" "But what will I do?" she sobbed. Where will I go?" A deep silence followed, except for the sobs of the desolate daughter, when the shrill voice of a kind-hearted little girl in the gallery called out, "Come home with us, alanna." |
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Jokes
